Marriage Tip Tuesday: Dealing with Anger

Anger is typically a defense mechanism against being hurt. Frustration is a large part of anger and occurs when expectations and personal goals are not met. What’s funny, or not so funny, is the things that make us angry are usually not important. So what anger category do you fit in? And don’t worry, not everyone fits into one of these categories below.

1) Triggered Anger – specific things set off anger responses; certain events trigger impatience and anger

2) Displaced Anger – Anger is taken out on someone or something else. When conflict arises, withdrawal is common, but then anger comes out in other ways at other times.

3) Chronic Anger – Anger has been on the back burner for years because of painful memories. Isolation and withdrawal are common. People with chronic anger are loaded cannons, ready to go off at someone who ignites the fuse.

If you find yourself in one of these categories, it may be worth the time to develop a Anger Management Plan which involves three steps: Be aware of your anger, accept responsibility for your anger, and identify the source of your anger.

Then choose how to invest anger energy. You can’t always control when you will experience anger, but you can choose how you express it. With God’s help you can find creative and constructive ways to deal with anger.

“Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.” Ecclesiastes 7:9

Want more? Healthy Anger and Helping Children Deal with Anger articles available. And I highly recommend The Other Side of Love by Gary Chapman.

Anger – 1 letter away from Danger

I can remember vividly as a child watching my parents handle anger in several situations.  It wasn’t until recently that I noticed how similar my approach to anger is to my parents. It makes perfect sense.  Kids emulate their parents.

Modeling healthy behavior is very important because your kids are watching how you handle your anger.  It won’t be too long before they start emulating it.  Parents who display positive changes toward their own anger will soon see their children improve how they handle their personal anger.  Guide your child through anger episodes: listen, take their feelings seriously, and help them deal with the issues and find a resolution.  Parents have the final word on what will be done, but the child should recognize that you think their feelings and thoughts are important. A positive model, unconditional love, and non condemning instruction are powerful approaches to teaching your children positive anger management.

 “In your anger do not sin” Ephesians 4:26a