Smart Marriage Conference Day 2

Wow… Long post so bare with me. Go start up a pot of coffee…. There is so much to take in at this conference. Keep in mind that I am only reporting on what I see which is very little in the grand scheme of things this week.  Overall, today was very good. (good sessions, breakouts, and networking).

Morning Plenary Session with Scott Stanley and Galena Rhoades was very good. The topic was “Living with Cohabitation”. They did a good job sharing the data. Highlights below.

• 60-70% of couples live together before getting married.
• Cohabitation lasts less than 2 years (typically).
• Average age for women cohabiting (25-27 yrs old); average age for men cohabiting (27-28 yrs old).
• Young adults are delaying marriage, but still starting relationships early in life.
• 39% of cohabiting households include children.
• 20% of children will spend some time in a cohabiting household.
• Cohabitation creates greater inertia… meaning it makes it harder to break up (shared debt, getting a dog, leasing together, having a child).
• Greater chance that some may marry someone totally different than the person they would cohabit with.
• New National Study shows older, less educated, divorced parents, less religious, and have children is the typical cohabiting profile.
• Those who have religious beliefs were asked the question “Is cohabitation wrong?” 49% of dating individuals agreed (35% strongly agreed); 30% of cohabiting individuals agreed (16% strongly agreed).
• More than half of cohabiting couples said they did not talk about it beforehand. They slid into it. Not deliberate.
• Ambiguity is a common theme among cohabiting couples. They’re not thinking on the same page.
• Men who cohabit before marriage are less dedicated in marriage than men who did not.
• So why are couples cohabiting? research shows couples want to learn something about each other they may not learn otherwise, spend more time together, it’s inconvenient to live apart, and/or it’s a step up in commitment.
• Men are more skeptical of marriage, but once married, men value marriage more than women.
• Research: The Inertia Hypothesis: Sliding vs. Deciding in the Development of Risk for Couples in Marriage
• Website they recommended: prepinc.com

Above is just a little bit of info. I was writing like crazy… A lot of information. If you’re reading this and attended the session, please feel free to add additional information.

Late Morning Workshop with Rita DeMaria on the 7 stages of Marriage.  Short version of notes below.

Every marriage is unique, change never stops, your marriage is an incredible-inevitable journey, live your stage, and cultivate love.  Research they did for Reader’s Digest results show that marriages overall are not broken, key ingredient to marriage is trust, laughter is more important than sex, guys can get gushy about marriage, and challenges makes married couples stronger.

1) Passion Stage 2) Realization Stage 3) Rebellion Stage 4) Cooperation Stage 5) Reunion Stage 6) Explosion Stage 7) Completion Stage.

Stages don’t have start times or ending dates, You can revisit an earlier stage at any point of your marriage, and two stages can overlap.

Want more info? Buy the book : )

Early Afternoon Session with Barbara Whitehead and Syble Solomon. The topic was Money & Thrift.

Barbara Whitehead shared good basic information on being thrifty along with today’s view of money compared to the greatest generation who feared debt and valued thrift.

I loved listening to her speak. You can tell she is a very creative thnker, speaker and writer.  She defined thrift as 1) Stewardship; the wise usage of resources to enjoy life and able to give generously 2) Discipline.

How do we connect thrift and marriage? They’re both about the long haul! Marriage is an economic partnership.

Takeaways… 1) economic foundations builds much trust within a marriage 2) think and do a economic managing plan as a married couple 3) rent “It’s a Wonderful Life” and watch the thrift throughout the movie.

Syble Solomon shared about her organization Money Habitudes which uses a simple deck of cards to teach people their personality as money managers… I enjoyed explanation of the system so much that I bought a deck.  She also gave out a website that links to several financial security articles on managing money. Don’t worry Dave, I still love you!

Maybe tomorrow I can do a simple video post.. Or does this kind of information allow for a long post? Let me know your thoughts.