Living and Growing Together

While there are many differences among families, there are 6 qualities that clearly stand out when identifying healthy christian families.  These six qualities are not isolated characteristics, but are interrelated. They fit together like a mosaic, supporting and complementing each other.

1) Appreciate one another… support each other and make each other feel good about themselves.

2) Arrange your personal schedule so you have more time together as a family.

3) Positive communication patterns… openness, honesty, patience, respect, concern and willingness to discuss differences.

4) High level of commitment to family.

5)  Spiritual Growth… sanctification

6) Deal positively with crises… face your problems realistically and adapt to nurture and care for one another.

Marriage Conference – McDonough, GA

We had a Great Marriage Experience at FBC Eagles Landing this past weekend in McDonough, Georgia.  Below are three testimonies shared from couples that attended the conference.  God Bless all of you in attendance and thanks for sharing your story with us!

“We are making the decision to make our marriage a more Christ-Centered relationship… Thanks Rosbergs for sharing from God’s Word and your story as well”

“We attended this event seeking help for our marriage which is on the brink of divorce. We’ve only been married 2 years. At lunch, with tears in our eyes, we had one of the most honest and heartfelt discussions we’ve ever had. I am so grateful that we made the investment of our time and money to see the Rosbergs today. They gave us tools to remember and reconnect our love through Christ, which has been missing in our lives together”

“It felt great to re-connect with my wife again. It was like taking a stroll down memory lane”

LifeWay Reseach: Role of Faith in Parenting

LifeWay Research posted a new article recently on the role of faith in parenting.  See below for a quick overview plus a link to the full article.

The vast majority of parents hope their children grow up to live good lives, but for many, parental success does not include faith in God – even among parents who are evangelical Christians, according to a new study from LifeWay Research.

The national survey of 1,200 adults with children under 18 at home was conducted by LifeWay Research, the research arm of LifeWay Christian Resources, for the new book The Parent Adventure: Preparing your children for a lifetime with God by Rodney and Selma Wilson and Scott McConnell (B&H Publishing Group).

The study found the most common definitions of successful parenting include children having good values (25 percent), being happy adults (25 percent), finding success in life (22 percent), being a good person (19 percent), graduating from college (17 percent), and living independently (15 percent). Being godly or having faith in God is mentioned by 9 percent of respondents.

Click here to read the full article.

Dating is a Modern Practice

When you think about it, dating is a modern practice. Most historians will tell you that dating did not become widespread in the United States until after World War 1.  Before this time dating was very formal, limited to certain activities and mostly chaperoned.

Dennis Orthner, author of “Intimate Relationships” suggests four social factors that led to the development of modern dating.

1) Industrialization – social changes brought about by industrialization tended to weaken traditional family ties and the family’s control over its members. Attitudes developed that were conducive to dating. Individual values became more important than family values.

2) Urbanization – industrialization with its factories required large number of workers in a concentrated area, and large urban areas developed around industrial centers.  Urbanization brought many young people together and exposed them to a large group of potential mates.

3) Increased Free Time – with the enactment of child-labor laws and compulsory education, the amount of free time increased for many young people. The development of modern machinery and appliances for farm work and household chores also allowed young persons more free time.

4) The Automobile – perhaps nothing has shaped modern dating more than the automobile. It provided both the mobility to engage in a variety of recreational activities and a place of privacy.  Many dating activities began to center around the automobile.

I’ve got one more to add since the technology world has exploded within the last few years… “More use of technology”.  The use of cell phones (texting) and social networking sites such as facebook and myspace have proven to create a constant connection with dating teenagers. The downside – greater control by one partner over the other. The scary part -  the majority of parents are not aware of the extent their child is being monitored by the person they are dating. You may want to investigate.

Infatuation vs Authentic Love

Do you know the difference between infatuation and authentic love?

Infatuation

1. born at first sight and will conquer all
2. demands exclusive attention and devotion and is jealous of outsiders
3. built on physical attraction and sexual gratification
4. characterized by exploitation and direct needs
5. static and egocentric
6. romanticized. does not face reality
7. irresponsible and fails to consider future consequences

Authentic Love

1. a developing relationship and deepens with realistically shared experiences
2. built on self-acceptance and shared unselfishly with others
3. seeks to aid and strengthen the loved one without striving for recompense
4. includes sexual satisfaction within marriage, but not to the exclusion of sharing in other areas of life
5. a developing reality. includes growth and creativity
6. enhances reality and makes spouse more complete and adequate
7. responsible and gladly accepts the consequences of mutual involvement

Infatuation is self-centered, whereas love is other-centered. The most important distinction is that authentic love takes time to develop and involves the total person.

Reality Check: Imperfect Marriage

Many couples marry while happily holding onto intentions of gracefully dodging major conflict. They see a few possible waves in their relationship, but their visions are filled mostly with a smooth, calm sea of contentment and companionship. In their minds, marriage will be perfect (or at least close to perfect). They believe they will live and love happily ever after.

Does this make up the belief system among nearly and newly married couples in your church? Many couples go to church each week and see other couples, smiling and happy, as if they haven’t a care in the world. This causes a couple to ask, ‘What’s wrong with us?’”

Despite the idealized image of love that many of us hold onto, the reality is that every marriage is made of two imperfect people. Since “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23), the likelihood that sin (selfishness, for example) won’t enter the home is more than remote. A marriage involving two imperfect people can never be free of mistakes.

But that’s the beauty of it. All the bumps and wrinkles that couples encounter along the way can actually help them to sharpen each other and to grow as individuals in their relationship with Christ. In fact, the bumps are part of the adventure of marriage.

Protecting Children from Internet Predators

How do I protect my child from Internet predators? Is it okay for him/her to surf the Internet unsupervised?

Great answer by Kevin Leman… click here –> teens and the internet

Neighbors inviting children to church

Most American parents would let their children attend church with trusted neighbors, according to a survey by LifeWay Research.

This study explored “how many parents were open to their children attending if they didn’t have to be the ones to take them to church”.

“In a culture that struggles to learn the names of their neighbors, the benefit of loving one’s neighbor clearly applies to families,” McConnell said. “With intentional involvement in our neighborhood, we can glorify God in word and deed in regular interactions with our neighbors.

“As relationships develop, our neighborhood friends will be increasingly comfortable having their children attend church with us,” he said. “With spring around the corner, we all need to make plans to get out in our neighborhoods and meet some new friends.”

Click here for the full article.

Improving Marriage Ministry (part 2)

In the last post, we identified 3 major areas of focus from churches that have a thriving marriage ministry.  Below are other pieces to the puzzle your church must develop in order to get off the ground and running. 

1) Develop a planning team (diverse group).

2) Delve into your pasts… Don’t be afraid to use past failures and successes to help others.

3) Deliberate a theology of marriage for your ministry to stand on.

4) Discern how to enich your own marriage. Practice what you preach!

5) Discover specific challenges couples in your church are facing.

6) Begin to develop a variety of marriage ministry ideas. 

Now you’re beginning to breathe life into your ministry because great marriages just don’t happen.

Improving Marriage Ministry (part 1)

Want to improve the marriage culture within your church? Almost all healthy marriage churches we come in contact with have a strong focus in 3 areas of marriage ministry.

1) Laying the Foundation: Preparing Couples for Marriage

2) Building Upon the Foundation: Marriage Enrichment

3) Repairing the Foundation: Intervention and Recovery

Decide what strategies in each one of these areas work best within the context of your church and move forward.