I am excited to share with you that I have a new blog design. Big thanks to Amy Haywood, Darrel Girardier and Joan Dyer for making this happen. You can still go to CrossingMark.com and it will direct you to the new location. Drop a line and give us your feedback. I’m very excited!
A part of biblical budget making is to plan for the future. “The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it” Proverbs 22:3. Throughout the scriptures, the wise man and woman is the one who plans ahead to meet the needs of his or her family, business, or other endeavor (Luke 14:28-30). Planning ahead financially involves savings and investments. Unexpected difficulties will arise. You can count on it. Therefore, the wise steward plans ahead by saving. To fail to save a part of your income is poor planning.
Together you should agree on the percentage that you would like to save, but something should be saved on a regular basis. Many Christian financial advisors suggest 10% be allotted to savings and investments. You may choose more or less, but the choice is yours. If you save what is left after other matters are cared for, you will not save much at all if anything. Why not make yourself your “number-one creditor”? After tithing, pay yourself before you pay anyone else.
There are two aspects to the communication process – sending the message and receiving the message. Below are several biblical principles of communication:
1. Be a listener and do not answer until the other person has finished talking (Proverbs 18:13; James 1:19).
2. Be slow to speak. Think first. Don’t be hasty in your words. Speak in such a way that the other person can understand and accept what you say (Proverbs 15:23, 28; 21:23; 29:20).
3. Speak the truth always, but do it in love. Do not exaggerate (Ephesians 4:15, 25; Colossians 3:9).
4. Do not use silence to frustrate the other person. Explain why you are hesitant to talk at this time.
5. Do not become involved in quarrels. It is possible to disagree without quarreling (Proverbs 17:14, Romans 13:3).
6. Do not respond in anger. Use a soft and kind response (Proverbs 14:29).
7. Avoid nagging (Proverbs 10:19).
8. Do not blame or criticize the other, but restore, encourage, and edify (Romans 14:13, 1 Peter 2:23).
9. When you are wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness (James 5:16).
10. Try to understand the other person’s opinion. Make allowances for differences. Be concerned about their interests.
Also, have you noticed that women use more nonverbal communication than men? Men put more of the message into the words they use. That’s why so many times women may believe that they have clearly communicated something to their husband, and he has totally missed the point.
Next weekend we kickoff our 30th fall schedule of Festivals of Marriage weekend retreats. This year’s theme is “Identity”. Keynote speakers like the Parrotts, Farrels, Smalley, Rosbergs, Forehands and Wilsons will take identity and focus on…
It’s not too late to register to be a part of this wonderful experience! Not only will we have a great worship together, but there will also be several workshops to choose from over the weekend. Join us this fall!
To find out more about Festivals of Marriage, go to lifeway.com/fom or email me for more information at mark.satterfield@lifeway.com. Below is a pic from last year’s event. Don’t miss it!
Here are 3 guiding principles when it comes to practicing etiquette in your marriage:
1) Guard the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated. Luke 6:31
2) No double standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.
3) Honor requests. Consider what your husband or wife already asked you to do or not do. If in doubt, then ask.
Taken from “The Love Dare” Day 5… Love is not Rude.
Whatever you do to balance the demands of being a parent with being employed, don’t do it at the expense of your marriage. Below are four strategies to avoid doing this. Which one do you, or could you use?
1. Spend time together as a family. A survey of parents by Baby Talk magazine from a few years ago shared the following: When baby arrives, couples have less conversation, intimacy, lovemaking, spontaneity, and romance. You can enjoy some great moments with your wife while you’re bathing the kids, getting them ready for bed, playing games and walking.
2. Create some private moments together. You still need some time without the kids. It takes privacy, as well as time. Combine working around the house with working on your relationship. Instead of dividing up the chores, do them together. For people in love, just being in the same room can foster a feeling of closeness. You still in love?
3. Schedule time alone together each day to catch up on each others’ feelings, experiences, and thoughts. Communication is a key to a great marriage. Getting young children to bed early can help make this happen.
4. Plan a regular date night to help keep romance alive. Reserve a night for just the two of you (regularly).
If it seems that your family is not connecting, think about the following and put together an action plan.
1. Pray about your priorities. Ask God to help you order your life according to His priorities. Companies in this country and workaholic dads need to be reminded about their priorities. Am I suggesting that Christian dads and employees abandon the search for excellence in the workplace? No. But we need to get our priorities in order.
2. Think through your opportunities. Often promotions (or positioning yourself for one) come with a corresponding increase in workload and hours. Is it worth it?
3. Consider changing jobs. No job is worth sacrificing your spouse or children. No career is more important than your relationship with those you love.
4. Stop gift wrapping the garbage – or anything else that drives you to perfection and sacrifices valuable time with your family. Do you want to be remembered for having a beautiful lawn and clean cars or having a wonderful family?
5. Monitor your family’s level of involvement in organized activities. Sports, music, and educational programs are needed for our children to lead balanced lives, but how much is enough?
6. Commit to regular family times together. Schedule regular family nights or family outings. Guard those times as you would any other appointment.
7. Slow down and live. For many of us, the pace of our lives is self-imposed. Remember that you do have a choice about what you do and the schedule you keep. Do you hurry to go on vacation, hurry to enjoy it, and hurry to drive home, so you can hurry on to something else?
A lack of time may be the most pervasive enemy towards a healthy family.
Take it on a deeper level: Get a group of Dad’s and go through Men’s Fraternity: Winning at Work and at Home. It will change your life.
Top 10 Issues facing today’s family: #9 Balancing Work and Family
How can we eliminate misplaced busyness and put God first?
Start with the TV… Turn it off! We may not realize how much time we waste sitting in front of a television set. Challenge: Keep a journal of your family’s viewing habits for one week. You may be shocked at the hours your family could reclaim if the TV was turned off.
Re-examine the activities in which your children are involved. Being on a sports team is great. Gymnastics classes are wonderful. Learning to play a musical instrument is valuable. But does your child need to be doing all three simultaneously? The key is balance. If you build more free time into your children’s lives, they can learn to initiate fun and learning according to their interests. Then all of you can make better choices about activities in which to be involved.
Commit as a family to stay home together at least two nights a week. Eat supper at the table, talk, or play board games. Let the answering machine do it’s job. Give your family the time to know one another.
Finally, we must realize that God most often speaks to us in what the Bible describes as a gentle whisper.
In Dallas Willard’s book “Hearing God“, he writes, “The still small voice — or the interior or inner voice, as it is also called — is the preferred and most valuable form of individualized communication for God’s purposes. God usually addresses individually those who walk with him in a mature, personal relationship using this inner voice, proclaiming and showing forth the reality of the kingdom of God as they go.”
As we hear the whispers of God, we get to know Him better. The better we know God, the more transformed our lives become. We are shaped into His image instead of vainly attempting to shape Him into ours.
Sometimes our preoccupation with what we’re doing hinders our ability to hear someone… Does this sounds familiar? “I just need your attention for a few minutes.” This doesn’t mean that what we’re doing isn’t important. But our relationship with our spouse should take priority over reading, watching TV, surfing the internet, or just about anything for that matter.
Did you know that your communication with your spouse can easily fall into patterns, some of which can be destructive over months and years if you function merely in passive mode. It may be good to do an evaluation in this department.
Below are 5 easy tips for improving your listening skills.
1. Maintain eye contact when your spouse is talking. This helps you focus attention.
2. Don’t listen while doing something else. Stop and pay attention.
3. Listen for feelings. The words might not reveal the entire message. You might have to ask how your spouse is feeling to get more information.
4. Observe body language. Some of the most important messages are not communicated in words, but through how words are spoken, when, and what expressions come with the words.
5. Refuse to interrupt. Allow your spouse to finish speaking. This allows you to gain a clearer understanding of the intended meaning. Interruptions can suggest you really are not interested in what the other person is saying.
Remember that the patterns you establish with your spouse sets an example for how your children will learn to communicate as they grow and develop as adults… Is that a scary thought?
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